By MaryEllen Tribby
We all want to live a better life. We want success, great health, good relationships and more. But ironically we often end up being our own worst enemies, sabotaging our best efforts both consciously and unconsciously.
There are many reasons for self-sabotage. They can include fear of failure, fear of success, fear of change, and negative feelings – such as a subconscious thought that you just don’t deserve to be happy.
Notice that the first three reasons are driven by fear. None of us can make our best decisions when we are frightened. The fourth reason is one or more negative emotions about yourself, which can color your entire life and cause you to sabotage yourself at every turn.
Manifesting a Great Life
Most people have some fairly simple definitions of what makes a great life and therefore what they wish to manifest. They want to look and feel great, and enjoy the better things in life. They would like a good career, a nice house, a fancy car, and a chance to enjoy nice things in life, such as vacations and eating out at fine restaurants. They also want people they care about to share it with.
However, we often sabotage the very things we want most. Here are several of the most common sabotaging behaviors, and how you can turn them around.
Self-Sabotage #1: Procrastination
Putting off until tomorrow what you could do today is a sure-fire way to get misfortune in your career and cause unwanted stress in your personal relationships at home. We often procrastinate because we don’t know something, are not interested in the task, or might be overwhelmed, afraid of success, failure, or change.
No matter what the reason, if you don’t get procrastination under control, you will come into conflict with those who expect you to keep your promises, or you miss out on the better things in life and are not able to manifest your dreams.
The solution to procrastination is to make a list of everything you need to do. You see if you do not acknowledge it – you cannot get it done.
So first, break the tasks into bite-sized pieces so each task is more manageable and not intimidating. Next prioritize each task and assign it a deadline. This makes it so much easier to start tackling each important task one by one. Once you do this, you will be amazed at the difference it can make in your career and home life.
Self-Sabotage #2: Overeating
Everyone wants to be thin and nice looking. Everyone wants to be healthy and fit. So why are 68% of Americans overweight?
It’s because we don’t always take the action steps we need to lose weight and keep it off. We might start counting calories and carbs and then sabotage ourselves by overeating. You can also sabotage yourself by not exercising, saying there is just not enough time in the day.
The solution to losing weight on paper APPEARS to be a simple equation. Everyone says burn more calories than you eat. Practice portion control and learn how to make smart food choices. Burn the calories you consume through exercise. Find something you love and schedule time on your calendar to do it every day, like walking or yoga.
This is all good advice, but the two most important things when it comes to losing weight are accountability and preparation. That is why the organization Weight Watchers is so successful! The regular meetings keep you accountable, and they help you be prepared using their app and the points system.
Self-Sabotage #3: Spending Too Much Money
We all have personal finance goals. They might be to have a home of your own, save for college for the kids, or bank enough money for an early retirement. However, if you spend your money carelessly, you will never be able to save towards these goals. You might scrape together something for a mortgage, for example, but the best rates are given to people with good credit and a larger deposit.
The solution? Set up separate savings accounts for each goal. Save smartly for college with a 529 account and for retirement with a 401K.
Make sure you are using your time wisely for continuing education so you can make as much money as possible, whether it is starting your own business or getting that promotion you dreamed of.
Set your goals and priorities and then take practical action steps to manifest the life of your dreams. If you notice any self-sabotaging behavior holding you back, analyze the reasons for it and you should be able to overcome them to live your best life. When you start doing this you really will be able to love yourself.
Lastly the biggest tip that I want to share today is to focus on what you want. Do not focus on what you don’t want. When you focus on what you don’t want, you actually get more of want you don’t want.
So instead of saying “I don’t want to procrastinate,” say “I want to be productive.”
Instead of saying “I don’t want to be fat,” say “I want to be thin, healthy and fit.”
And instead of saying “I don’t want to be broke,” say “I want to be wealthy.”